There And Back Again

(Sorry, couldn't resist the shout out to my hobbit peeps…)

Our Heroine has returneth from the great journey to the faraway coast, and lo, she is made anew.

Well, not *exactly*, but whooee, this last week and a half has been a crossroads time for me (and, I suspect, for Josh, but in fewer dimensions). I have returned to the same enormous overwhelm and anxiety load that I left behind, but at least for now, there is a post-life-changing-experience kind of glow that's keeping me warm inside while I rush from hither to yon in the cold harsh world of reality. (And the second cortisone shot before I left seemed to work, so at least the shoulder pain is now gone.) I hit the ground running last night when I got back from VP (tucked in kids, tried to unpack and triage household stuff), and yesterday despite my best intentions (and there were, as always, many) there was kid stuff to do, house stuff to do, and business stuff to do until well after midnight so the blogging about VP (and about the Cash Machine Workshop before that) never happened. Honestly, it's still not going to happen now since my precious half hour of Butt In Chair writing time I carved out of this morning's routine is nearly over (and my normally lazybones eldest child, perhaps sensing in his sleep my fledgling BIC resolve from across the hallway, awoke early and has already come in early to bug me with 6 year old questions about frog tongues and breakfast possibilities).

So the details will have to wait (I'm hoping to carve additional time out of the usual overwhelm later this evening, if at all possible) but let me just record a few very important points I came away from VP with:

I am a writer. I love writing. I will appear as a writer to others to the extent that I claim it, act like it, and keep acting like I believe it.

As a writer, I suck, and I don't. The more I put aside fear and ego, and incorporate all the magnificent high-level learning about the craft of genre writing this past week, the less I will suck.

Lack of sleep is something I can push through and work around, at least for short bursts (sleep deprivation sprinting!)

There is a F/SF writer community, and the people attracted to it or are part of it already are really cool. I need to stop worrying about whether or not it's ok to try to be part of the geeky writers' club and just go for it. I now have approximately 2 dozen friends who will jumpstart me into going to cons and commenting on blogs and creating new networks. Those fledgling friendships are an amazing gift and should not be wasted.

Writing will likely never pay me much money, but it needs to be treated as a profession as well as an artistic expression. Reading books in the field, going to cons, making relationships and keeping current with what's happening in the genre are important professional activities, not just self-indulgent fangirl activities.

Clam chowder, even the best clam chowder in the known universe, should not be consumed in quart-sized quantities in one sitting just to impress others. High fat content at high volume does unpleasant things to a middle-aged stomach.

Ok I'm way over time now and must stop and go supervise morning kid routines. More writing later, I hope, if the rush and push of the "first day back to work" day leaves me any energy left by the end of it.