Off The Cliff And Onto The Tightrope

Whew again. You know what's amazing? Over two weeks have zipped by and I still feel much the same way as I did in the previous entry. I'm still overwhelmed and exhausted and I am still trying to keep a good attitude. It's getting a bit easier now--I do have lunch buddies and I feel comfortable in my cube now, and I made my first big sale (which earned me a boss-granted reward of a parade through the office and a self-granted reward of a pedicure topped off with electric blue nail polish, whee!) But there's just so much to learn and practice still, and my head is so full! I come home all exhausted and haven't been doing much besides kid stuff and then maybe a quick round of chores or additional reading for the job and then falling into bed. I can't even bring myself to blog (let alone write, or process pictures, or email friends, or read, or any of the usual evening activities I enjoy). Weekends have been hectic too trying to pack the usual crazy amount of socializing (not to mention other life admin) in. Whoo! I know this will ease up soon and eventually things will be more familiar and thus not require so much mental energy from me, but at the moment, I'm barely able to keep it together.

I'm still really glad that I've made the leap and am challenging myself with something different though. I feel like my outlook on life and therefore my life itself has already totally changed (and is going to change even more) and I'm excited about it. It's not just the fact of having a new job--it's that this particular job is feeling more and more like a place I've been meant to find for a long time. A big part of what I do every day is to talk to people about what their financial dreams and goals are, and how what our company does can help them achieve those dreams and goals. It's making me (and Josh!) resuscitate our own dormant dreams and goals, and getting us all excited about the possibility of changing our lives in really big ways. But all this excitement is also quite a bit draining--so I'm still mostly occupied with trying to find my balance before I can move ahead. To go back to that Fool tarot card metaphor for a moment, it's like I've just blithely stepped off the cliff only to find myself on a tightrope leading…somewhere (this high up, the destination is still obscured by fluffy clouds). And I'm needing to stop for a few moments and concentrate on balancing before I move ahead. But move ahead I will, and I'm eager to find out where it is I'm heading.