Lullaby Love

Ok I realize that many (if not all) of my entries have been all sappy grateful-counting-my-blessings goody goody lately but you know what? Tough. It's better than the long bouts of whininess that have more often been the norm here on ye olde Parentheticals (even if the writing is snappier when I'm whining). But if the sappy is getting to you, you might want to skip this next entry.

I just put Eli to bed, and for the first time in literally years, I sang to him. It was his request--brought on, I think, by our discussion about bedtime rituals a few days ago at Sunday School. (The teacher had asked the kids if they had a special song that they heard at bedtime, and Eli raised his hand and said "my mom and dad used to sing a special song to me…but they don't any more." Awww…) So tonight I sang to him--first, the Shema (as suggested by our Sunday School--I'm not used to singing that as a lullaby so it felt a little weird, but I can see how it might be something I could get used to, it's a beautiful melody), and then his special song (which I still sing to Isaac, with appropriate modifications). It's a song I made up and refined during all the long nights of reinforcing baby bedtime routine when Eli was little, and it goes like this:

you are my baby
you are my Eli (when I sing it to Isaac it's "you are my little I")
you are my sweet pea
you are my sunshine

hmm hmm hmm hmmm hmmmm
etc

And as I sang it Eli was just lying peacefully on his pillow, looking at me, looking nowhere in particular, smiling with the joy of having his mama sing him his special song. And I thought to myself (because I was so full up of emotion myself that I had to analyze the moment, break the spell), I never thought I'd get to do this again with Eli…and I know it won't last much longer. But here on the precipice of 6 years old, full of big boy beans and ready to leap into more and more maturity, he still wants his mama to sing to him. And I know that he won't always, that we'll both grow out of it again, and other special bonding rituals will take its place--but oh, these moments of perfect connection, of easy and uncomplicated love…these are exactly the moments that make you realize that being a parent is the best thing on earth. And just how fragile, and heart-filling, and full of blessings life can be.

(Ok, I warned you it was going to be sappy.)