There's No Denying The Geekness Now

Tonight I spent all evening anxiously reading, taking notes and looking through boxes of figures, because I was preparing to don that geekiest of geek mantles, that near-sacred quasi-profession (no, not linux hacker, the other kind of geek):

I am about to be a Dungeon Master.

That's right, gentle readers, I've played Dungeons & Dragons (and other RPG systems) for probably something like 10 years now with Josh and friends (in addition to the times I originally played back when I was a young and impressionable pre-teen), but aside from a few brief attempts back in those pre-teen days, I have never been a Dungeon Master. I have never considered myself worthy of sitting at the head of the table behind the screen: there was so much to know, and I (the one with already severely impacted free time as it is) never seemed to have the time to really sit down and learn it all.

But for some reason about a month ago I got a big bug up my butt (so to speak) that someone had to start an all-girls gaming group, and I just couldn't let the idea go. So I pestered the 4 other girls I know that a) game and b) live within a half hour's drive and finally they all agreed to try a girls' game--but no one wanted to run it. And rather than give up my semi-subversively feminist idea, I wound up hearing myself say "ok, I'll run it. I'll just pick up a module or something, how hard could it be?" And although I definitely give myself full points for courage, that was possibly one of the dumber things I have ever agreed to do, because as I have been discovering, being a Dungeon Master is DAMN HARD. There are a loooooooot of rules to this game, and rather than only knowing the ones for the type of character you're playing, as the DM you have to know (or at least have a passable familiarity with) them all. And then there's the whole creative part (which actually isn't even the hard part for me, thank goodness, and at least I'm not creating my own adventure).

On the one hand, I'm really anxious because I want it to be fun, not just memorization work on my part and dull plug-and-play for the players. Luckily I'm pretty good at winging things and I think once we get started it'll just kind of move ahead under its own steam. Plus, this is a forgiving crowd, and they're willing to let me experiment on them/with them. The bright side (aka the other hand) is that I'm learning a lot and if nothing else I'll be a much better player after this, for sure. (Watch out Josh, I'm going to be an even bigger geek!) So overall, despite some general performance anxiety, I'm excited to try this next level of geekery. It's been obsessing me lately, in fact--which is a good sign: it means I might have found a new hobby/creative outlet (which of course I need like hole in head, but no matter, no matter). Here's hoping it goes well!