Kicking the Bean

So literally on the spur of the moment, I decided to quit coffee over the weekend. I guess I forgot to mention this earlier. I was distracted by puttering around the house on Saturday and by the time I realized I'd forgotten to drink my morning cuppa, I thought I could probably get by without it, if I maybe took a little Tylenol. And Saturday was ok, although I definitely did have a headache. But then Sunday I still had a headache, and not even Tylenol (which is all I'm allowed to have, more's the pity) seemed to help. And then yesterday I had particularly piercing headaches all day as well, which sneered at the presence of mere Tylenol. And today, though it was better--still headaches. I'm starting to wonder if these headaches are all the result of caffeine withdrawal--I mean, yes, I had a cup every morning for months, but should withdrawal from the daily cup really be this hard? I blame the preggo hormonal cocktail (because why not, it's my best excuse for everything right now and I'm milking it for all it's worth).

It's not like I had the hugest addiction--at its height I'd fill up my giant metal insulated Thermos travel mug (the equivalent of 2 big mugs) and drink half of it during my morrning commute and the rest over the course of the day at work. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I've dropped down to the single mug on the way to work (since my OB has theoretically blessed "1 caffeinated beverage a day" as being ok). I wanted to quit it as soon as I found out as I was pregnant, but I was SO TIRED (that bone-sucking tired I'm sure I've previously mentioned) during that first trimester, and it was hard enough to keep my head clear with the hormone cocktail raging through my body without also nodding off at my computer every 10 minutes, without taking away my crutch. So I kept having that morning cuppa, even when it didn't smell or taste all that great to my ultra sensitive preggo self. That's how I knew I was addicted--just had to take my medicine. Bleah.

I never used to have a coffee addiction--it's something I sort of slid into over this past 6 months to a year. Just like any addiction, at first it was a great rush every time I had a cup of coffee--it was especially good for the writing, and for those times I was stuck in the story. It gave me that burst of energy and the brain spark I needed to get over certain creative blocks. But of course as I began to have coffee regularly, it stopped working, and I just needed it so I wouldn't feel crappy. Yuck. This is the longest I've ever gone being addicted to coffee--in the past every time I felt like I was starting to get too dependent on that morning cuppa, I'd quit for a couple weeks until I could start up again. It was never that hard to kick the habit before, but then I guess I never got this far into the addiction before.

Anyway. I'm trying to look on the bright side: I've actually quit (and once I swear something off I'm pretty good about being stubborn and not falling off the wagon for a good long while) and I know that's good for me. Plus if these headaches ARE actually caffeine-related, I've got to be almost done with them. (Right? RIGHT?) And the added bonus silver lining here is that hopefully, I can someday go back to the super fun creative buzz time when I have a cuppa, and be able to get some good writing done. As long as I don't do it regularly, I should be ok. And by that I mean there should be at least a week between cups. At least, that's what I'm thinking right now, from the high horse of a quitter.