9 Years of Marriage
Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. Josh is away on a business trip (he'll be back tomorrow), but it's late at night, the kid's finally in bed, and I'm feeling super mushy and nostalgic. So consider yourselves warned.
It's been so long, and so much has happened since our wedding day, so much joy and adventure, so much angst and stress, so many life transitions. It feels like a whole other lifetime ago that I sucked in that long fluttery breath and rustled down the aisle in my big white princess dress towards my true companion. He was standing under the chuppah he'd sewn from royal purple velvet with his long blonde "Nordic God" hair streaming over the shoulders of his black tuxedo jacket, smiling at me. 9 years since I stood up in front of my whole community of family and friends and declared my love and made my vows. Those were some pretty poetic declarations and vows, despite the fact that I'd only written them down the night before. The Muse actually showed up when called for that one. (I think She's attracted to super strong emotions though so I'm not too surprised.)
I just went to see if I could find the piece of paper I'd written those vows on, and I have it here in my hand. I think one of the best pieces of marital advice I've ever heard is that when you're feeling troubled or lost in your marriage (or even when you're not), you should read your marriage vows again, and try to recapture that heady combination of love, passion, commitment, excitement and joy that brought tears to your eyes the first time they were ever read aloud. So in that spirit (not that we're having issues right now, but in the spirit of honoring the anniversary of that amazing moment, 9 years ago tonight), here they are:
My beloved Joshua--
Falling in love with you was the beginning of a great adventure. In you I have found much more than just a fellow traveler along the great road of life.
You are my guide, opening my eyes to all which is beautiful and bright, whether large or small, obvious or subtle. Your eyes give me new ways to see and be seen.
You are my comrade, always watching my back, sharing the perils as well as the joys we encounter, encouraging me to keep moving even when movement seems impossible and growth, overwhelming.
Most of all, you are my true companion. No longer am I alone, wandering the deserts and forests of this world in search of something I could not name. In your heart I have found the answers to my questions. In holding you, I am held; in loving you, I am loved. Together, side by side, we will travel the paths of joy and enlightenment, change and growth. We will find great treasures and bring back many stories, for this adventure will last a lifetime and beyond.
When you falter, I will reach out for you. When I find something beautiful, I will share it with you. I will get neither too far ahead nor too far behind. I will rest in your arms and shelter you in mine.
My dearest Joshua, I will love you forever, you and only you, in all ways and in all directions, for all the days of our lives.
(*sniff sniff*)
My commitment still stands. The love is still there. I'm a damn lucky person to have found my true companion.
Here's to us. Long live the adventure!
*sniff* you rock. I love you.